To me, the most important thing is to have the beginner’s mindset, the mindset of a student. As Einstein said: " We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them." Therefore, my efforts fall on making my students realize this. Always be a student by cultivating an open minded, inquisitive, and self-humorous approach in your every endeavour.
-1- open-mindedness
Open-minded means listening without prejudice, so that if something sounds interesting you try it out for a reasonable amount of time to see if it works for you and then decide whether it suits you or not. We usually start with the latter, and even that with an average attention span of 8 seconds (thanks social media!!), missing out on a lot of useful and interesting things. Truth can come from any person, regardless of what we may think of them (your feelings don’t matter in this case, most of the times they are just in the way).
When Banzan (a Zen practitioner) was walking through a market he overheard a conversation between a butcher and his customer.
“Give me the best piece of meat you have,” said the customer.
“Everything in my shop is the best,” replied the butcher. “You cannot find here any piece of meat that is not the best.”
At these words Banzan became enlightened.
Now I know you are not Banzan, who was an ardent Zen meditation practitioner, so maybe a random conversation might not get your Qi flowing like it did for him, but how many times have you found inspiration to a problem at a place where you never even would have considered? Life can surprise us, if we are open to that. But to remain open you must also have a bit of an inquisitive spirit, looking for ways to better understand yourself and others hence the second mindset key:
-2- inquisitiveness
Inquisitive means not to do everything on auto pilot. A quote by Eleanor Roosevelt fits here:
“Life must be lived, and curiosity kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.”
Of course, you cannot question every action you take all the time, but it is necessary to review occasionally, the way you deal with things both internally and externally. If something works okay, why not make it better? If something works very well, why not see what it is that makes it work? Maybe you can apply this to other things as well.
And of course, if something doesn't work, well isn't it about time you change it? The moment you are no longer looking at life as a child who wishes to understand how and why things work like they do, then it is a dull and uninteresting existence you are living.
You are taking everything for granted thus making the opportunity for change and growth very difficult. And change, although it scares us and we are pretty bad at it, is not something that needs to be taken so seriously. That is why I find this last mindset key so important.
-3- self-humour
Self-humorous means not to take ourselves so seriously. Why is that so important? Well, if you take yourself too seriously, how can you accept the fact that you might be wrong, and then how can you change when changing this super important self is what is required?
Our bodies change every day, so why is it so hard to have our minds follow, if that is what is required to move forward? Well, the reason is of course that we have invested so much on our sense of self, this hodgepodge of beliefs, ideas and the emotions that come with them, that we find it nigh impossible to let go. We are totally invested, and God forbid if anyone takes it lightly.
Relationships have ended, business partnerships hell even wars have started for a slight on a leader’s Ego, especially in countries where honour is a high held value. At the same time, we can see that this is also such a burden, and one that is keeping us from reaching our full potential.
So, a healthy way to poke holes in this construction and see it for what it is, a made-up construct for social interactions, is to allow ourselves and others to make fun of it. Laugh at yourself, laugh at your silly mistakes and laugh at your long-held ideas that are no longer working, hell laugh at those that are also working, because in the end, life is way more fun when you realize that you are not the centre of it.
To sum up, if you are in the process of self-exploration (and not just in the kinky way), try to remain open-minded, inquisitive, and self-deprecating as much as you can.
It can really help in making your life a healthy and productive one.
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